By Mary Ann Faremouth,
Valentine’s Day is the traditional day each year when we celebrate love. We start thinking about who we love but we sometimes forget to love ourselves. Right after the Christmas holiday, we begin seeing shelves stocked with all types of heart-shaped candies and jewelry, tents set up near grocery stores to sell flowers, and all kinds of advertisements about the perfect gift for the significant person or people in our lives. A song that always comes to mind when this time of year rolls around is the famous song, “The Greatest Love of All,” about learning to love yourself. It was written by Michael Masser and adapted by other songwriters making it No.1 in the US charts in the mid 1980’s. It goes something like this:
“Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
Is the greatest love of all”
I’m not so sure many will agree, during the last several months of 2020, with so much change and loss, that anything has been considered “easy.” I do believe that being in alignment with who we truly are and learning to love ourselves is the greatest love of all. From that very important place, all the beauty and fulfillment in our lives can flow. In our careers, being in alignment with our gifts and talents and being able to contribute them to the world is equally the greatest gift for ourselves and others. When we are able to value ourselves and own our talents, then we can be the best version of ourselves possible.
It all sounds great, doesn’t it? However, where is the starting point? How can we get in touch with our core self and take stock of it and truly nurture and love it?
When I ask myself these questions, it always seems to bring me back to the first step of the Faremouth Method, “Do A Self Inventory.” This first step in the process is the most crucial because “Knowing Thyself” is truly what allows you to achieve great things. What do you do if you feel lost and not sure of what that core even is anymore? Have you ever known? Who are you really? Have you changed? What do you truly value and want from your career and your life? If you don’t know who you are, how can you identify and achieve what you desire?
This Valentine’s Day might be the perfect time to hold on to the belief that we deserve to treat ourselves with love and respect, especially as life is just more challenging right now. Being quarantined, social distancing, and by ourselves for such a long time, there is a mixed bag of feelings about what the future may hold. We may feel there are parts of ourselves we thought we had lost, and others may feel somewhat invigorated that they now have new beginnings in front of them.
Self-love is essential to our success in life. During challenging times, self-doubt can get in the way of happiness. What does self-love mean? This is love of self in its purest form. It is an examination of what our needs are for us to be our best selves. We need to have that sense of space, purpose, and recognition of value. When we ignore our own needs to be the healthiest mentally, spiritually, and physically, we do ourselves a major disservice. It’s important to feel that we are the best of who we can be on all levels. On this Valentine’s Day, celebrate you and your exciting new future!
Consider putting your energy into the relationship you have with yourself. Allow yourself to bask in the beautiful brilliance that is you and treat yourself to all of the greatness that you long for and deserve. Try one or a few of these ideas and see which ones might resonate with you.
1. Create a positive mantra – We all have an internal recording that we sometimes are not even aware of. Become mindful of your inner voice and guide it to choose positive messages whenever the negativity starts to speak loudly to you. You might try saying “I am a person of high worth,” or “Self-love is my trademark,” or “2021 is my best year ever!”
2. Surround yourself with beauty – Our outer environment can have influence over our internal condition. Create a space for you that makes you feel good! Fresh flowers and an organized space can add to the vibration of self-love and create a sense of peace and relaxation.
3. Investigate opportunities for self-growth – Check into classes or seminars online that may enhance your ability to get into better alignment with who you are or who you would like to become. There have been overwhelming demands from a variety of clients in my recruiting practice, feeling so out of sync in their career endeavors. Faremouth & Company will be hosting a weekend class to try to help people get more into alignment and outline important tips to become more successful in the interviewing process for the New Work World. Check our website, faremouth.com, for upcoming classes beginning in March 2021.
4. Write yourself a love note or begin a journaling practice – Take some time to write down all of the qualities you like about yourself. Release the negativity for this exercise and be determined not to focus on your flaws. Consider this a reprogramming exercise to enhance your self-love and instill hope in your future journey of expansion and growth.
5. Begin a practice of small, daily achievable goals. For example, your goal might be to add 15 minutes to your daily walk. Begin a meditation practice upon getting out of bed in the morning. Allow time for something that brings you joy and pleasure, such as reading a book, watching a movie, or maybe spend less time on social media. It doesn’t have to be a huge goal, just something small that allows you to feel you have implemented a positive practice that is taking you in a direction to enhance your self-love. Remember, self-love is about giving yourself a gift that you mostly give to others, putting yourself last. When you put yourself in the quotient, you have more to give yourself and others in terms of quality.
There are other steps in the Faremouth method which are all designed to help you align yourself in the New Work World. Be a hunter! Don’t sit back and accept things as they always have been. Go out of your way to investigate how you can become a part of the future. You don’t have the luxury of waiting for things to come to you. This is a time to embrace opportunities that you look for and seize the moment. Step out of your comfort zone! Don’t take the easy way which may have been the old routine. We are in a time now where we need to shake things up and challenge ourselves. It’s easy to just do things as we have always done. There comes a time when we need to break out of that rut and reinvigorate ourselves to find new situations which may not be all that comfortable, but the rewards can be so great. If you have been a team player but rarely the leader, reverse it. Become the leader of a team. Ask yourself why you have never been the leader. Perhaps it is self-doubt that stops you from exerting your confidence. You may know more than you give yourself credit for.
Make sure this Valentine’s Day you never underestimate the power and value of nurturing the relationship that you have with yourself. Self-love breeds confidence, success and joyful moments within you. With it comes the great power to infuse light and love into every corner of your life and is also the key to creating healthy and meaningful relationships with others. Do what you have to do to set aside time to honor, love and pamper the amazing, priceless gift to the world that is YOU! Awaken that spirit within you by making you the most important person in your life. Others have seen it all along.
Mary Ann Faremouth
Mary Ann holds a CPC (Certified Personnel Consultant) credential, was certified by the Board of Regents of the National Association of Personnel Consultants in Washington, D.C., and was awarded an Advanced Communicator Bronze, Advanced Leader Bronze Awards by Toastmasters. She cofounded Jobs: Houston magazine in 1997. Mary Ann maintains affiliations with professional organizations, including oil and gas, financial, construction, IT, and structural, mechanical, and civil engineering. (www.faremouth.com)
Mary Ann’s award-winning first book Revolutionary Recruiting has been listed by Book Authority as Number #1 Best 100 Recruiting Books; #1 Best Seller, Non-Fiction, Amazon (2019); Top 20 Recruiting books, Recruitics; Readers’ Choice finalist (2019), Houston Literary Awards; Best Non-Fiction (2018), Best Cover (2019), and Best Self-Help (2018), Authors Marketing Guild. Her books support individuals and corporations, tap into each candidate’s unrealized potential to find the right person for each job, maximizing both employee satisfaction and the employer’s bottom line. Mary Ann showcases her expertise of the recruiting world on a monthly podcast for The Price of Business and weekly articles for USA Business. Her new workbook, Revolutionary Reinvention, was recently released on Amazon. Mary Ann lives in Houston, Texas.