By Sally Bartolameolli & Kim Siongco,
There is much research about negative self-talk. My experience over 34 years is my research. Here is what I know:
The most brilliant and successful people experience negative self-talk.
The imposter syndrome, persistent feelings of inadequacy despite data to the contrary, is a phenomenon that has been studied. It’s common. The concept of shame, the feeling that we are a mistake, not that we made a mistake, also has extensive literature describing its components.
Figuring it out does not necessarily lead to relief.
Knowing the cause of the negative self-talk might help, but what’s more effective is claiming agency over these thoughts. Then, we have more choices about our actions.
This article shows you how to switch the energy of the negative self-talk, and redirect your thoughts, your feelings, and your actions in a consciously chosen direction.
At LORA Bridges, Leadership, Openness, Results & Awareness, we train in the practice of Awareness, Realignment, & Commitment (ARC) so that anyone can intervene on negative self-talk.
Alacrity replaces stuckness.
1. A We must first become aware of the negative thoughts that are fueling our inefficiency, stuckness, and most likely, a diminished sense of self-esteem. Admitting feelings of shame to ourselves and relating to the imposter syndrome is uncomfortable, perhaps distressful, at the very least. Our denial is understandable. Leaning into awareness and acknowledging what we are actually saying to ourselves takes courage and humility. With this awareness, we have choices not available to us when we remain unconscious.
2. R We cannot choose our first thought, sometimes we cannot choose our second thought, but we can choose the next thought. Once we are aware of negative self-talk, whatever it is, we can take a deep breath, claim influence over our thoughts, and ask the question, what does this energy really want for me?
We engage our intuition to listen for the most empowering and constructive response from within. We continue to trust and ask the question until we sense its rightness for us at the moment. This takes practice. Now, we are ready for the next step.
3. C This is the time for a commitment to act, to get unstuck, and to move in the direction of what this energy really wants for us. Once we know what this energy really wants for us and metaphorically switch this energy, we engage our intuition a second time. Now we ask, what is the next right action for me to take? This takes practice as well, and in the process, we develop a lasting trust in our own intuition and our ability to redirect our thoughts, actions, and accomplish our goals. We commit to taking this action.
A teacher of mine reminded me that we can’t always think ourselves into right action, but we can act ourselves into right thinking.
At LORA Bridges, we call these tools and techniques ‘practices’ knowing that new habits usually develop over 30 days, and when practiced over 90 days, become lifestyle behaviors.
Personal growth, achievement-focused behaviors, and transformational tools that build bridges in our personal and professional lives are one day at a time practices. Humility, self-gentleness, and committed focus are required.
Remember, anything of great value requires great effort, and you are not alone on this transformational journey.